Ms. Wilma’s Crocheted Cell Phone Holder

Japanese fruit pie (or whatever that dark-red filling really was). A 3-foot tall cactus plant (try getting that into your truck). A hand-made, crocheted cell phone holder to be carried around the neck (not really the most stylish of accessory). These are just a few of the numerous things that left Ms. Wilma Byers’ house in my hands as her gift to me. I never knew what she was going to go to the closet, refrigerator, freezer, pantry to get whenever I would visit…but she would always want to give something. And she loved to visit: we talked about tomato plants, flowers, family (whose pictures were like wallpaper in her home), church, life, death…everything imaginable that could be crammed into a 30-minute period, me and Ms. Wilma would talk about.

One thing was a topic above all else: the church. Ms. Wilma, at 95 years of age, was the oldest member of the Union Hill Church of Christ at the time of her passing, and she was loved by all (young and old alike). When she was able to come to church, she was surrounded by a sea of young people (as she sat on the right side of the auditorium). She loved to hear them sing. Matter of fact, when she was admitted to Spring Creek nursing home and Union Hill conducted a Sunday afternoon service there…she specifically requested that the young people come, “especially the singers.”

She loved to be with the people of God. She loved to be with others who were worshipping God. She loved to give whatever she had to whoever wanted it (even if you didn’t want it, she would still try to convince you to take it). I never left that house without a feeling of being overwhelmed with generosity. She epitomized meekness because (in her 95-year old frame) she had a way to overpower you with good. Solomon was writing about her when he said, “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:29-30).

"Well done, good and faithful servant, you have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share in the joy of your Lord!" (Matthew 25:23)

Friends Don't Let Friends Do "The Dougie"

Once again, the world has rewarded the stupid with fame. A man walks out into the street, dancing to a song, and then gets creamed by an ice cream truck (not joking...Google it). One would think the fault would lie with the brainless guy who walked into the road to impress his video-camera wielding friends…but no. This not-so-clever artiste of “the Dougie” dance has sued the ice cream truck driver for damages (broken leg, arm, ribs, etc).

When a person can walk out in front of a truck (voluntarily, mind you…TO DANCE IN THE ROAD), and then sue the driver for injuries sustained…somebody needs to re-study the definition of true 'justice'. Solomon said it best: “A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and an ice cream truck for the back of a fool trying to dance in the middle of the road...” (Revised Herndon Version-Proverbs 26:3)

Moral: Friends don't let friends do "the Dougie".

Letters to My Children: Cell Phones and Cars

A lot of kids have an almost arrogant sense of entitlement about them these days. I believe parents are at fault for most of this. Let me explain: If a teenager never works for anything, is never demanded to wait or save for anything…then they will never learn to be content with what they can afford. They will always ask for more because they’re not the ones that have to pay for it. With this in mind, here are a few ground rules that I will not change when it comes to being a father…because they worked on me:

My child will not get a cell phone until they can afford to pay the bill themselves. I will not co-sign a contract to help my son or daughter buy a cell phone because that would mean they couldn‘t afford it (see first sentence). I will not buy my son or daughter a car when they turn 16...or 18. I will not co-sign on a loan for my son or daughter’s car when they want to buy one. I will not pay their car insurance when they buy a car. This, in turn, means that they will have to get a job doing some kind of minimum-wage labor (Heavens, no!), earn money for themselves (Stop! Please! Not that!), and save their money to buy the car, clothes, or phone they desire (That‘s torture!). They will learn the true value of a day‘s wage, and they will learn what they can and cannot afford.

They will clean up their rooms. They will help take out the trash. They will help wash the dishes. They will help do laundry. They’ll help in the yard and garden. They will learn the value of work (not entitlement)…a notion which escapes multitudes of young people today. They will not be “too good” to do any job or task for someone else. They will learn to volunteer their time and talents for others, and not just use their abilities to advance their own lives.

How will they learn these things? I will have to be the example I need to be for them (and Lord help me to do it).

Letters to My Children: A Heritage

In every culture known to man, families desire a legacy, a heritage, a chronicle attached to their name. This legacy comes through children. The desire to have a family is like an instinct the Lord planted in the ground of our souls. “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord…” (Psalm 127:3)

This verse presents us with a definition of children. They are something very valuable…something to be preserved and passed from generation to generation. Some people waste their heritage and inheritance. They could care less about their children. Some parents don‘t see them as an investment, but it's just the opposite: kids are something precious that deserves great care and attention.

Children are an inheritance from the Lord. This means that children aren’t just a physical amalgamation of their father and mother’s physical make-up…they are a gift from God. With this gift comes responsibility. We provide our children with food, shelter, education, and (greatest of all)…we have to provide them with an understanding of who God is, and what He expects.

God does not simply give us children. He entrusts them to us. Their lives belong to the Lord. Like any inheritance, kids aren’t just for us. They are meant for a Greater Purpose. Our job is to ensure that our children grow up to be strong believers, dedicated to the kingdom of God's dear Son. Children are an inheritance, not just a possession. May we give them to the Lord, who gave them to us in the first place.

Letters to My Children: Training

My daughter won’t grow up to be an example of righteousness by herself. My son won’t learn godliness or uprightness simply by existing in this world. God has stressed, time and again, the necessity of training children in His ways…and consistent training will help them become one of God’s children later on in life.

Solomon (the wisest man to walk on the earth in Old Testament time) gives us God’s wisdom on the matter of training children: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6). The importance of training a child in the ways of the Lord can never be overstated. However, this MUST involve the presence of the parents of a child. Presence = time.

See, teaching has to become training. Training involves a supervisor (one who knows the right way to do things by experience). Parents are to be trainers, not just teachers. Kathi Hudson, in her book Raising Kids God’s Way, says that “training always involves teaching, but teaching seldom includes training.”

We, as parents, have to train our kids in the things of God…not just teach them the things of God! We need to be an example of what it means to live as a Christian. We’re the way they see the light of God. How has your light been shining?

Letters to My Children: The Neutrality Myth

Every day brings with it the opportunity to see God. Whether it be in the birds that fight over the feeder seed in the front yard, or the smiles on the faces of the elderly during a visit…God’s hand can be seen everywhere. Creation demands a Creator. That certain and infallible conclusion of Intelligent Design (fashioning a creation which is far above what is accidental or mortal) leaves us, as Paul says, “without excuse.” (Romans 1:20) There is no neutral ground when it comes to the truth that “God created the heavens and the earth.” (Genesis 1:1)

In the same way, there is no neutral ground when it comes to helping my daughter (and soon-to-be-born son) see God’s life-lessons in everyday objects and tasks. Each new day will bring an opportunity for me to teach them to see God.

For example, in the garden, they will see how a handful of seeds can cover a whole hillside with food. The lesson: those seeds aren’t brought to life by water and fertilizer…God gives the increase. They will realize that it is truly “better to give than to receive” when some of the fruits of that garden are given to the people at church, or an elderly person who is unable to put out a garden for themselves (Acts 20:35). They will be taught to work…to earn what they have…to appreciate putting in their due labor because “if a man doesn’t work, neither should he eat.” (II Thessalonians 3:10) They will be taught patience by having to wait on the Lord for the changing of the seasons…for the rain and sunshine necessary for vegetation to grow.

Either I give God the credit and glory (teaching them to see Him and rely on Him), or I give credit to something else. There is no neutral ground. I either teach them to see God…or I don’t. What opportunity have you been missing to teach your kids about God?

Letters to My Children: Preventable Injury

As parents, we take every precaution imaginable to “child-proof” the dangers in our homes. We place cleaning supplies and sharp objects well outside the reach of our children because we want to protect them. Physically, we don’t want any injury to befall our children which we could have prevented. What about spiritually?

Kacie and I have pretty much come to the point where we won’t watch some of our favorite T.V. shows on NBC until Kenlea is asleep (as a side-note: I have to admit that Kacie was the better Christian parent on this one, and I thank the good Lord for her every day). Programs that we used to have no problem watching…have now become a problem. It’s interesting how we don’t notice how many cuss words and profanities are used in a movie (or sitcom) until we watch them in the presence of a pure and innocent child. Physically, we don’t want any injury to befall our children which we could’ve prevented…what about spiritually?

“Train up a child in the way he should go…” (Proverbs 22:6) “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-8) What spiritual injury are you allowing into your child’s life…which you could be preventing?

Letters to My Children: Introduction

As a Christian parent, I have a huge responsibility to raise my children in the discipline and instruction of Lord (Ephesians 6:4). At times, it seems like such an overwhelming task. Looking at my own life-long struggles and spiritual weaknesses…all the times I’ve failed the Lord, I often feel like Moses standing in front of that burning bush (after the Lord revealed that he was the man to face Pharaoh) crying out, “Who am I?” (Exodus 3:11). Who am I to be entrusted with such a task? It’s a very humbling feeling to know that I will be responsible (before God and man) for how I have chosen to parent my kids.

Honestly, I don’t know how my parents did it: raising three children who became devout Christians, who then married devout Christians, and all of us are now trying to raise our kids by the same biblical pattern they did...that’s a pretty amazing record. I’m beginning to realize (more and more every day) the awesome inspiration my parents were to me while I was growing up…and the impact they have on me even now. My daughter is learning new words every day, and I have the opportunity (just like my parents did) to make sure some of the words coming from her 19-month old, jabber mouth have their origin in the absolute truth of Scripture.

These next few posts will serve as a reference point for my children when they grow older, as well as being a reminder to myself of how my decisions and actions will affect them. May God grant me the strength to be a good, Christian father.

Books to Red Flag in Elementary Curriculum

extension of previous post:

Stumbling into a Parent/Teacher Conference

My daughter will turn 2 on June 22. It will be another two years before we even think about pre-school…but we’re planning on enrolling her in public school. That scares me. Up till that point, my wife and I will be able to nurture her mind in the things of God, and shield her from things that are wrong. However, once she starts pre-school, our job will become more diligent as parents.

The majority of this nation’s school-aged children (about 90%) attend public, government-funded schools (wikipedia.com). Think about that fact for a minute…that’s about 50 million kids! These kids have very moldable minds. They’re heavily influenced by the curriculum they’re being taught during the years from pre-school through high school. So…do you know what the schools are teaching your children? If you don’t, then (as a parent) you better find out.

Consider this from a biblical perspective…Christ said: “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” (Matthew 18:6) I’m only 19 months into parenting, but you better believe that I’m already planning to go to every Parent/Teacher conference, I’m going to look over every curriculum that my little girl (and future little boy) is demanded to accomplish. Why? Because it will be a shame on me (as a parent) if I don’t do everything in my power to make sure my kids are learning the truth about life from a Christ-like viewpoint. She won’t learn God’s Word in the public school system, and she won‘t learn about God‘s way of doing things…that she’ll have to get from home.

Too many parents could care less about what their kids are learning in school…because they’re only satisfied with seeing their children’s rear ends in the desks. Don’t get me wrong, the public school system is a valuable asset that we have in this country, and these schools WILL teach our children…but that NEVER negates our responsibility to instruct them in the way of the Lord. Know what your kids are learning.