Disagreement is to be expected when imperfect people get together (and the church is full of imperfect people). None of us is perfect in how we put what we believe into what we do. We’re all influenced by pride…and none of us like to be told that we are wrong, mistaken in our beliefs, let alone…sinful in our actions. It's a natural tendency to want to defend ourselves against attack.
However, disagreement is actually an opportunity for maturity and growth. It may become an opportunity for us to discover God's truth on a particular issue…to learn that we may be wrong and others right (or vice versa).
And the Bible gives us some key principles for handling disagreement. 1). Seek truth. We can know the truth by carefully studying God's word (John 8:32). Everything has to be tested against the Old and New Testament Scriptures.
Now, there are primary issues that are non-negotiable for Christians. The foundational truths that our faith is built on like the deity of Christ, His death and resurrection, Gospel salvation through the cross, worship...anyone denying any of these plain truths is simply “plain wrong.”
But there are many other issues on which Christians, who believe in the authority of Scripture, disagree. This doesn’t mean that they are unimportant…or even that God's word is unclear about them. All truth is important, but some truths ARE more important than others.
2). We also need to realize that some issues are never to be lines of fellowship (or the breaking thereof). It’s wrong to accuse others of “preaching another gospel” (Gal. 1:6-9) when they simply differ from us on having the Lord’s Supper before or after preaching on Sunday, or they have 26’s on their truck and you don’t like it.
We should always approach debates of this kind with a humble attitude…willing to be shown that we may be in the wrong. It’s not unchristian to debate and argue (Jesus and the apostles got into it quite a few times), but it is wrong to “quarrel”, and there is a difference between the two.
“Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth.” (II Timothy 2:23-24) As my father always said, “You can never debate an idiot.”
It was a characteristic of the Pharisees to spend a crazy amount of time "tithing herbs" while ignoring “justice, mercy and faithfulness” (Matthew 23:23) Some people just love to argue for the sake of arguing, and in doing so…lose their compassion for those around them.
3). Lastly, Paul identified two different groups of Christians in Romans 14, calling them the strong and the weak. In general, the weaker Christian is the one who has the more “sensitive” conscience, while the stronger Christian has the greater freedom. The natural tendency is for “weaker” Christians to be judgmental of those who exercise greater freedom, and for “stronger” Christian to patronize or look down on those who are pickier. Paul gave some underlying principles and practical guidelines.
He started by affirming that Christ is our real Master (14:7) and that ultimately we answer to God, not to anyone else (14:4). It is He and He alone who will judge us (14:10-12). Therefore, we should live to please God (14:6). If we believe something is wrong, then it is wrong for us to do it. Others may believe that some secondary isse is not wrong, and it would be perfectly all right for them to do it…but it would still be wrong for us because it is not of faith (14:14,23).
We should, however, be determined not to put obstacles in another Christian's way (14:13), or to cause them distress (14:15) by what we do. So at times the stronger Christian may voluntarily give up some of his or her freedom in order that the weaker Christian will not stumble (15-23).
Every Christian is different…we have different personalities, temperaments, gifts, passions, strengths and weaknesses. And each of us brings the baggage of past experience to every argument (as a result of our family backgrounds and the life-situations we have faced). We all have our own unique ways of responding to disappointment, criticism, threats, opportunities and conflict.
Disagreement between Christians is normal. The New Testament is full of examples of it, and as Christ's followers we should actually expect it. Dealing with our disagreements requires maturity and skill. We will all make many mistakes because none of us is perfect. But when Christians work out their disagreements in a godly way, it is a wonderful demonstration to the truth of the gospel, and as a result, many more people will be drawn to Christ.
