Marriage Growth through Relationship Frustration

The last 24 hours have been pretty frustrating, but they have also contained some of the greatest growth in my relationship with my wife, to date. We enrolled in an eight week marriage class based on the book "His Needs Her Needs", and man has it been an eye opener. Coming to the chapters on honesty and openness...I thought that our discussion was gonna be pretty cut and dry. Wrong!

Without going into detail, there are two lessons I learned (the hard way): 1). Anything, ANYTHING that you keep from your spouse is bad. I'm not talking about trying to hide a mistress or something huge like that...I'm talking about trying to conceal the slightest, smallest, most minuscule thing. It could be something that you know your spouse doesn't like, but as long as they don't find out...it's OK, right? Wrong! Whatever it is, don't try to hide things from your spouse. It always ends badly.

2). I have to be willing to sacrifice anything (besides my faith) in order to show a genuine love. Anything that she doesn't approve of (even though it may not be wrong) I should be willing to sacrifice for her love. This one hurts...a lot. Sacrifice doesn't feel good. It's downright painful. However, I can't be true to my love for her unless I am willing to sacrifice for her.

I prayed for the Lord to send me a woman to make me a better Christian man...and He sent me one. Thank you, Lord, for my wife.

Speaking Out...Without God

Expressing an opinion on a particular topic is easy: we open our mouths, or turn on our blogs, and we speak our minds. However, what happens when our minds becomes the absolute? What happens when our opinion becomes God? This is part of the problem with mainstream media and politics, but this is also a problem with Christians in the church today...and it can carve a Grand Canyon through the pews.

In Bible class discussions, in conversations outside the church door, even in exchanges on the phone or Facebook...is God directing the thoughts that come through our mouths? Is God guiding our words and logic? Because it's so easy to speak without God. The world does it all the time! We're bombarded with Godless speech on a daily basis, but are we guilty of it too? It takes no effort to speak in the anonymity of the darkness...but it's harder to reflect the light of God into that darkness.

God's Word is like that "city set on a hill that cannot be hidden." (Matthew 5:14) Your opinion...my opinion is not what we're to set on that hill for all to see. We're to point to the city of God, not to ourselves. We're to be messengers to give direction and praise to the city, not to ourselves. Truth is not about you, and it's not about me...it's about God who gives it.

So, next time we open our mouths...is God there?

Baby Steps

Patience is a virtue. I know it's cliché, but just because it's been bumper-stickerized and refrigerator magnetized doesn't make it any less true. Patience is a necessary asset to life! In every relationship, in every conversation, in every deed we can either choose to show patience...or not. We can show this fruit of the Spirit and glorify God (Galatians 5:22-23), or we can choose to show our rears.

However, as with anything, patience takes time. It's a fruit, and fruits take a while to mature. Kenlea (my 14 month old daughter) shows me this every day. It has taken her 14 months to get to the point where she is strong enough (and balanced enough) to walk. And even though she has started walking...they're still baby steps. She's not running a 5K or hiking the Appalachian Trail. It takes time to develop and mature. And though we rarely master anything in this life, the lessons we learn as we try...help us develop perseverance. Lord, give me the serenity...

Under the Influence

"Do not be drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit." (Ephesians 5:18). If a person is under the heavy influence of alcohol...they have no control. When a person has drunk to the point of excess their mind and body cease to be influenced by self, but by what is controlling their reactions: the alcohol. They have relinquished command of all function, and have succumb to the effects of something else.

Paul compares being "filled with Spirit" to what happens when alcohol enters the body "in excess"...one becomes under the influence of something else. For Christians to be filled with the Spirit means that we are under the influence of God. We have relinquished control of our minds and bodies to Him. Our speech is effected. Our actions are effected. Just like a person who is drunk is totally different than a person who is sober...Spirit-filled Christians live under the influence of something other than ourselves and our surroundings. We are led, guided, and directed...we are under the influence of God.

Corn Field Carpets and God's Continuous Character

As I'm writing this, the corn outside my office window is being harvested. The massive International combine is chewing through every 7 foot stalk, spewing cobs, fodder, and dust as it flies out the back of the chopper blades. After a few rounds, the small field beside the church building is reduced to a golden-yellow carpet of corn stobs sprinkled with chunks of bright red corn cob. The millions of pieces of grain make their way through the unloading auger of the combine...onto the truck, where they'll join millions of other pieces of grain floating down the rivers of this heartland.

"While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.” (Genesis 8:22) Though the scenery changes, there is a constant. Though the corn field has been harvested, the cycle always remains the same. A harvested field of corn will hibernate wheat through the winter...the wheat stubble will be the foundation for next year's soybeans, and out of the bean fodder will come another field of corn. Things change, but the cycle remains unbroken.

In our lives...things change. We graduate from high school. We get married. We have children. Our children go to school. They have children of their own. Things change, but there is always a uniform constant in all of our lives: God's power. He has set in motion things that will last until this earth is no more, and though seasons change...and though time changes our bodies...God's power will, at all times, remain.

Sandpaper to the Mind

I have to admit something to you: Over the last 11 years of preaching, I have learned that I have a hard time getting along with some people in the church. There are some people that just rub you the wrong way, and I know that you agree with me because some of you have a picture in your head of someone in the church that's like sandpaper to the mind, or some situation that's left a foul taste in your mouth.

I have a hard time dealing with some people in the church who, doctrinally, will agree with me on most things. Here’s the point though: If I can’t get along with people who believe what the Bible teaches…then how much more of a challenge is it going to be for me when I meet someone who disagrees with most of what I believe?

I am a sinner, and I am a Christian. I’m at peace with God, through Christ…but just because I am at peace with God doesn’t mean that I am going to be in complete peace and harmony with all the people around me. There are going to be some not-so-peaceful conversations that I find myself in. There are going to be some less-than-cordial people who slam the door in my face, and threaten me to get off their property because of the truth I tell them about Christ, or because I try to (lovingly) bring them to the light. Telling the truth is tough...it brings conflict...but it's necessary.

White through Blood Red

"They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb." (Revelation 7:14) What a contradiction of terminology! A white robe coming from a blood-stained source? But that's how the blood of Christ works. The blood of the Lamb takes the blackest sin through crimson red...and out comes the purest white.

Sometimes, it's the simplest and most overlooked illustrations that absolutely blow me away. I study to look deeper and deeper into Scripture...wanting to find some profound truth or uncover some treasure I have yet to come across. However, the uncomplicated, simple riches that have already been laid bare...those foundational truths of redemption are just as beautiful, powerful, and amazing as the first time I heard them. Lord willing, may they continue to be.